i often hear slaves say they don’t know how to be gracious or what it is to be gracious. In an effort to hone this as a skill set and to give us something to focus on and practice i’ll periodically post a trait of graciousness that may be helpful. If you can think of application or find ways to apply it please post and share them as well!!
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This weeks trait is Courtesy, some thoughts from various sources:
She is clothed with strength and dignity
Proverbs 31:25
Proverbs 31:25
Dignity implies courtesy and proper behavior. There is no excuse to be rude or unmannerly. It takes so little effort to be courteous. A smile, welcoming words, thank you notes, and appropriate behavior are gifts we give for the comfort and encouragement of other people. The gracious woman learns how to do these things so thoroughly that it becomes automatic.
Taken from :http://www.personal-development.com/chuck
How are we to practice courtesy? There are as many ways as there are moments in a day. Every encounter is an opportunity. Here are some examples.
- Whenever someone treats you kindly, show your appreciation, express your gratitude, and offer your thanks. For as Seneca taught, “There is as much greatness of mind in acknowledging a good turn, as in doing it.”
- Scatter the dark clouds of gloom and spread sunshine with your smile. Remember, a smile is a curved line that can straighten many problems.
- Be as thoughtful as the 82-year-old woman who was more concerned about others than the pain she was in. “I may be in pain,” she said, “but I don’t have to be one.”
- Recognize the achievements of others, not with shallow flattery, but with sincere and warm praise.
- Respect the opinions and decisions of others, even if you disagree with them.
- Here is some good advice in the form of a Persian proverb: “Treat your superior as a father, your equal as a brother, and your inferior as a son.”
- Be a good friend. Express your good manners with your emotions. When your friends arrive, say, “At last!” And when they leave, say, “So soon?” When you treat your friends kindly, you will be greatly rewarded. St. Basil (329-379) explains how, “He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”
- Treat others with respect. Treating royalty, political leaders, or movie stars with respect is a common occurrence, but treating beggars, the homeless, and ex-cons with respect is the mark of greatness. It is not only the downtrodden that need respect, it is our children, too. If we don’t already respect them for what they are, how can we help them become more than they are?
- Act kindly toward others without expecting anything in return. To act in the expectation of a reward cancels out the kindness.
- Instruct your children. For as R. Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983) wrote, “Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge on their children rather than virtue, the art of speaking well rather than doing well; but their manners should be of the greatest concern.”
- Respond to rudeness with kindness. For what better test of good manners is there than politely putting up with bad ones? We become kind by being kind. And when every act we do is a kind one, the world will rejoice.
- Be gentle in your dealings with others. As someone else wrote, “To find out what others are feeling, don’t prod or poke. If you want play with a turtle, you can’t get it to come out of its shell by prodding and poking it with a stick, you might kill it. Be gentle not harsh, hard or forceful.”
- Cherish your family and reinforce it with courtesy. Oddly enough, we often treat strangers more politely than we do members of our own family. This has to stop, and we need to implement a policy of “courtesy begins at home.”
- Never underestimate the power of your small acts of kindness. They are the pebbles which form a solid foundation for our civilization. Without them, society will collapse.
A brief reflection on the world situation clearly reveals that our potential for evil is unlimited. Despite all our frailties, however, we are kind most of the time. That’s what makes humanity so great. But there remains considerable room for improvement, and the responsibility is ours. Instead of striving to be important, which is nice, let’s strive to be nice, which is more important.
© Chuck Gallozzi
QUOTES ON COURTESY:
Amy Vanderbilt
Good manners have much to do with the emotions. To make them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.
Good manners have much to do with the emotions. To make them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There is no outward sign of true courtesy that does not rest on a deep moral foundation.
There is no outward sign of true courtesy that does not rest on a deep moral foundation.
Baltasar Gracian
It is better to have too much courtesy than too little, provided you are not equally courteous to all, for that would be injustice.
It is better to have too much courtesy than too little, provided you are not equally courteous to all, for that would be injustice.
Michel De Montaigne
Courtesy is a science of the highest importance. It is… opening a door that we may derive instruction from the example of others, and at the same time enabling us to benefit them by our example, if there be anything in our character worthy of imitation.
Courtesy is a science of the highest importance. It is… opening a door that we may derive instruction from the example of others, and at the same time enabling us to benefit them by our example, if there be anything in our character worthy of imitation.
Christian Nestell Bovee
The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater ennoble it.
The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater ennoble it.
Erastus Wiman
Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, it is twice blessed.
Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, it is twice blessed.
John Wanamaker
Courtesies cannot be borrowed like snow shovels; you must have some of your own.
Courtesies cannot be borrowed like snow shovels; you must have some of your own.
Henry Clay
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.
Francis Bacon, Sr.
If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.
If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them.
Thomas Fuller
All doors open to courtesy
All doors open to courtesy
